Aurora’s Dream
Shattered or fulfilling?
As I sit in front of my computer I can’t stop on thinking about her, I knew very well her feelings, she is not sure of herself now a days, maybe because of the books that she is reading. She read a lot of books since she came in her mission field, the language made a lot of effect on her, because she cannot speak the language of the people around her, she keeps herself busy on reading and reading. She loves to read, I can say. She read her Bible everyday, but she reads more about fiction about a certain topic only, that topic that touches her secret dreams since she was a little girl. I don’t know if she had ever share her dreams to others, I think she had, I can still remember when the teachers in her elementary asked her what she wants to be, she will simply answer them with a sure tone and composure, “I want to be a police, or lawyer, or be a part of any detective company, I want to protect the oppress, I want to be on the side of those who cannot stand for themselves, or maybe I want to join the military, I want to serve my country”, she is full of dreams that time, I can still remember.
Someone will maybe ask me, why I know much of Aurora, I just know her, I knew she had her hard time, she has nothing to share of her thoughts, she feel so sorry to God because of her attitude toward Him, she know she came for mission and not for her own pleasure, but she knows its more than pleasure, she has the desire of using her dreams on fulfilling God’s calling in her life, but no one believes in her dreams, I think only me and God, or I can say others don’t believe because she hadn’t share it to them, now I know why, she is afraid of rejection, or maybe some will think that she is impossible. I am sad for her, I want to help her, and I want to help my self.
She wants to serve her country, or more she wants to serve the world, through the dreams that she had once when she was a little girl, she wants to serve the government agency that will accept her, she reasoned to herself that she is already in the great army of the Almighty God, she is an agent of change already, she knows that, she is daughter of God and expected to carry His Word and promise to His lost people. But deep in her heart she knows that God will not give her the dream of becoming a real agent or government agent for nothing, she knew there is a reason why. Now her mind is in chaos, she wants to fulfill her dreams, she wants to serve the government, not as a leader but as a worker, she know what she want, she want undercover work.
Now Aurora is thrilled of her life, she hate just sitting around and doing nothing, she wants action, sharing gospel is action, going to villages as action, but its not enough for her adrenaline, for her adventurous mind, for her unpredictable skills, she wants to fulfill her dreams, but she don’t want to walk away of God’s calling in her life, or she had already walked away from it because she did not pursue her dream?
She needs God in the act, but God seems to be quiet because of her doubt. There is just one thing I love about Aurora, she know she had a dream to fulfill but she knows also that she is not allow to make decision for herself alone, there is God, if God really planted the dream in her heart, God will make a way for it. Can’t decide much about Aurora’s dream, shattered or fulfilling?
아비_07
